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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Wednesday Spotlight: Jennifer Loy

To be or not to be in First Person?

I love to write in first person because I can really live out the novel in the heroine’s head. Everything comes from her experiences, her feelings, her agitations when the story is from her point of view. Even fighting with herself is comical when in first person. There is nothing like having an angel slash devil fight on the shoulders while your heroine is determining her next move when it’s in first person. In There Goes the Neighborhood it went like this:

He scratched the back of his head and looked down the street.


“Of course I didn’t do that. Did you do that to my truck?”

I opened my eyes wider and went to yell some more. I was stopped by a little thing called guilt. The little angel sitting on my right shoulder was pinching my earlobe. I could hear it saying, “Now don’t lie, just tell him the truth and confront him about what has been happening.” Of course the little devil on the other side was saying,” Lie through your teeth to the filthy bastard and tell him you’re holding his dog for ransom.” At this point, I wanted money for damages.

“No, I didn’t touch your truck!” I said; which was really a little white lie that the devil and angel would have to compromise over.

“Well, have you seen my dog?” he asked.

“No,” I said, looking straight at Christian and suddenly heard a muffled bark behind me.

Christian glanced over my shoulder and wrinkled his nose. He squinted at me and stepped forward. I bolted for my front door.

“What the hell are you doing? That’s my dog!” he yelled.

I slammed the door and locked it. “I found him in my backyard this morning! My gates were closed. That’s the second time you’ve put him over here, so now I’m keeping him!”

“Damn you, Victoria, that’s my dog! I didn’t paint your car or put my dog in your yard. Now give him back!”

“Not until you admit that you’ve been the one sending over nasty singing telegrams. Oiling and painting my lawn! I slid across the grass naked for God’s sake. I could’ve broken my neck!”

“I missed that!”


“I just mean I would have liked to have seen the naked part!”

I growled and hit the door from my side.


I loved this scene and I think it was so much better because it was in first person.


Jennifer Shirk said...

Cute scene!

I love first person, too, but I have yet to write in it. :)

Dena said...

Love the excerpt Jennifer, definitely a story I want to read. I've read some people hate to read books in ist person and don't even bother. What a mistake they are making, because some of my favorite stories are in 1st person.
My daughter loves the Twilight series and told me the next book is supposed to be a 1st persion version of Edwards story of the first book. I always love my heroines and it would be interesting to read a hero in 1st person.

B.J. said...

Just dropped in to say hello. I enjoyed the scene. I've never written in first person. Perhaps one day. I'll give it a try.

Helen Ravell said...

I can't do first person I leaveit to experts like Jennifer.One day we might write a book together. Jennifer can do all the first person for me... and the fabulously funny plots.

jenniferloy said...

Thanks Jennifer I really laughed out loud while writing this book. Now that I've written so much in first person it's hard for me to write any other way.
Have a great evening :D

jenniferloy said...

hi Dena..thanks for posting. I love reading Janet Evanovich because she writes her character Stephanie Plum in first person. That's some funny reading there. Can't wait to see the next movie for Twilight on Friday and I think the next book with be fabulous. My work in progress "Diamond Spy" is from a male 1st person POV and it is awesome writing from his thoughts. I just keep looking at my husband and think..Yep, he'd say that. LOL! fun stuff! Have a great day :D

jenniferloy said...

Hi B.J. Thanks for posting..I love when my family stops by to support me. XOXO have a great day!

jenniferloy said...

Hi Helen..thanks for posting! I would love to write a book with you. Maybe an American adventurer meets an Aussie surfer girl. Can you image us writing together?Would be hilarious and spicy. Have a great day! :D

booklover0226 said...

Oh, I love the scene, too. Will we get to read more?

Tracey D

jenniferloy said...

Hi again Tracey,
hope this link works. There is another funny excerpt on my website for There Goes the Neighborhood.

robynl said...

loved it; need more, honestly!!

booklover0226 said...

Jennifer, that excerpt on your site had me laughing! I can't wait to read this book!

Thanks for the link, too.
Tracey D

jenniferloy said...

okay Tracey and is more of TGTN...
Don't put on handcuffs unless you know where the key is!

Christian had turned on the kitchen light. I limped down the hall and watched him put pizza on two plates. I opened the drawer next to the phone and saw the handcuffs. I pulled them out. Christian heard the rattle behind him and turned around.
"Maybe I should do what I said. It's the only way to keep track of you. The only problem is nothing could happen tonight at my house because of two reasons. You're locked up or the real culprit takes a break. Then my theory wouldn't work."
Christian walked closer with a wide grin and his hand out.
"Or something does happen to your house, and I'm off the hook for good."
I smiled and saw his point. "What side of the bed do you sleep on?" I asked.
"So do I, you lose," I said and bent over. I quickly cuffed his left ankle to my right ankle.
"Why do I lose?"
"I'm the guest."
"So, when I sleep over at your house, I get the left side?"
"Not gonna happen, this is only temporary."
Christian let out a sigh. "I hate temporary," he said and tried to walk back to the plates. "Come on, woman."
"You know what? I have to use the bathroom before we permanently attach. Where's the key?"
Christian raised his eyebrows and took both my hands.
"What do you mean where's the key? Wasn't it in the cuffs?"
"No," I said, as we both leaned down to check the cuffs and bumped heads.
"Ouch!" he said and rubbed the side of his head.
"Oh, come on, I've been run over by a dog, slid naked across my grass, bitten by ants, listened to a fortune teller tell me I'd find a guy with a ck sound dog name, and stepped on a massive piece of glass.. That didn't hurt!"
"Kimo," he said.
I squinted at him and hadn't thought about his dog.
"Well, whatever," I said. "Where would the key be?"
"Maybe it's in the drawer?" he said, rummaging through it.
I started getting hot. I fanned myself with a piece of his mail.
"How can you be hot? It's cold outside, and you're in a pair of pajama boxers. By the way, they look extremely sexy on your beautiful long legs."
I fanned faster then pushed him out of the way. "Let me look!" I pulled the drawer out and emptied it on the counter.
"Hey, I was working on it!"
"I'm too impatient for your rummaging."
"This was your idea."
"I know, it was a bad idea, okay? I admit it." I organized the drawer as I put things back.
Christian stood there and folded his arms.
"I'm hungry."
"So, eat," I said, putting paperclips and rubber bands in their place.
"I can't reach it."
"So stretch."
I felt my right leg rise up about a foot. I threw the last pen in the drawer and turned around.
"How long can you stand like that?" he asked.
"Like what?"
"On one foot?"

jenniferloy said...

"I have good balance. Look at the size of my feet," I said and hopped toward him. "Where else could the key be?"
"I have no idea. It was in there."
"Let's just take our pizza to bed," I suggested.
He handed me a plate. "I thought you had to use the bathroom."
"I'll hold it."
"All night?"
"I'm a big girl." I walked by his side down the hallway.
"I forgot the kitchen light," he said, and we doubled back.
He turned it off, and we walked into his room. I sat down on the chair and looked out the telescope. He sat at the foot of the bed and ate his pizza. All the lights were off in the house.
"Should we bring the dog in?" I asked.
"No, he can stay out tonight."
"He was wet?"
"He's made for the snow. He'll be fine."
I finished my pizza and looked at Christian.
"Yes," I said and got up.
We made our way back to the kitchen.
"This sucks."
"It's not so bad." He said pulling two cups from the cupboard.
"This is bad," I said disagreeing.
"I can think of a way it wouldn't be bad."
"Keep that thought to yourself." I filled my cup with water.
We crawled over the bed and pulled the covers over us.
"We're terrible spies," I said yawning.
"I'll call my cousin in the morning. He's got to have a spare key."
I turned to my left side and felt Christian's leg on mine. He pulled back and turned to his right side. My leg pulled back. I opened my eyes and sighed. I rolled to my back and scooted closer to him.
"You cold?" he asked.
"No, uncomfortable. "
"Sorry," he said.
He rolled to his back, took my hand, and squeezed it.
"Remember how we're supposed to tell each other everything?"
"Yes," I said and got ready for his confession.
Maybe he had waited until we were handcuffed, so I couldn't kill him. Then the cops would surely know who did it. There was a long pause.