Would you like to go to the beach today? I would! Which one shall we go to? Let’s see… The beach I take you too will depend on your mood. It depends on what you’ll enjoy doing once we get there.
Do you like people watching? Would you like to spy on beautiful people, play “spot the celebrity”? Does the idea of a fabulous, long, lazy lunch at a fancy beach restaurant appeal? Then let’s go to the Blue Marlin, or Tropicana, which are both on Cala Jondal. The food is amazing, the locale sophisticated, albeit somewhat “posey”. But hey, posey can be fun once in a while! The women will be golden goddess beautiful, the men will strut around looking cool and affluent, and we’ll undoubtedly chance upon a celebrity or two. Besides, the sun beds are to die for; they’re wide and soft and squishy, and come with huge parasols and funky little tables for your magazines, newspapers and books. And if you suddenly realize you’re feeling far too indolent to sashay back to the restaurant, yet still fancy an amazing dish of grilled gambas and a glass of rosé, not to worry; all you need to do is lift an eyebrow to find a waiter by your side, ready to take your order.
You’re a little too hot? Just amble down the wooden walkway in your bikini and gently lower yourself into the translucent water for a refreshing swim. I’ll come with you; we can float on our backs and relax, or tread water and have a little chat, watching the array of luxurious boats and yachts anchored further out. We’ll probably have a little moan about the jet-skis roaring up and down, but hey, posers will be posers! Once we’ve had enough, we can go back to our sun-beds and dry off, then walk over to the pretty little beach shop, where we’ll be tempted by some funky jewelry, or an amazing, sequinned sarong.
As the sun begins to set, we can slip into our pretty beach kaftans and head towards the bar, where a DJ will be spinning tunes while the glitterati down caipirinhas and mojitos. We can schmooze among them for a while, sipping something fresh, and eavesdropping on their conversations. If we’re lucky, we might even be able to dance to live salsa music for a couple of hours, which is always fun!
But if you’d rather avoid the posers and go somewhere more relaxed, I totally understand; the chi-chi scene can get a little tiresome at times, as well as a little intimidating. I can take you to Benirràs, a fabulous, somewhat hippie beach on the other side of the island, beyond San Miguel. Benirràs also has a couple of beach restaurants, but they’re far more laid-back. We can rent some sun-beds and parasols, or just throw down our towels in the sand and hang loose. The view from Benirràs is spectacular, with a famous rock resembling a queen on her throne jutting out of the water in the middle of the bay. Late afternoon activities have a tribal flavor here, with hordes of people flocking to the beach, lugging bongo drums. As the sun sets, we can bask in the warm, golden light and enjoy the improvised percussion fest that crescendos as the sun dives into the Mediterranean. It’s an awesome experience!
You’d prefer a quieter, family-type beach? How about Cala Salada, west of San Antonio? The drive to this beach is spectacular; we’ll twist and turn down a super-steep road. You’ll probably hear me muttering under my breath, praying for somewhere to park! But park we will, before popping the trunk and lugging our lilos and other beach paraphernalia a hundred meters or so to this pretty little, semi-circular beach surrounded by cliffs. The atmosphere is far more relaxed, far more “ice lollies and buckets and spades.” The water is fabulous, although you might be surprised by the random patches of icy water you’ll probably encounter during your swim, courtesy of natural springs seeping out of the rocks. As for spontaneous shopping facilities, there’s a nice little stall set up near to the beach restaurant, so we can go and have a little browse if you feel like it. I’ve found some wonderfully colorful, cotton bedspreads there in the past! Should you get hungry, we can buy a sandwich, or sit down and order a simple fish dish, or just get an ice-cream and a bottle of water. There’s no pressure whatsoever in Cala Salada, and it’s definitely one of my favorite beaches.
Of course, there are dozens of other wonderful beaches in Ibiza, so if none of these really does it for you, I’ll be happy to drive you elsewhere. There’s Aguas Blancas, up in the north, where the body surfers flock for exhilarating rides on the waves. Aguas Blancas is a spectacular, somewhat wilder beach, with a surreal, silver-white light. However, there tend to be quite a few rudy-nudies around, so if you’d rather not come face to face with people airing their goodies, maybe it’s not the best choice!
Instead, we could do Salinas, the long, sandy slither along Ibiza’s famous salt-flats. Here, depending on how far we venture and where we park the car, we’ll find sand dunes feathered with long, spiky grasses, old crumbling watchtowers from times gone by, as well as elegant restaurants and funky beach bars.
So, what do you say? Which beach would you like to go to today? The sun is smiling, the possibilities are endless, so no matter where we go, we’ll have a hot and happy day!
With love from,
"MUCHO CALIENTE! - Wish upon a Latino Superstar"
An effervescent romantic comedy
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